Merry Christmas Jokes – Christmas Funny Quotes, Wishes, Messages

Hey Guys! Merry Christmas is here again. Get ready to wish your friends in a teasing manner. Some hilarious Merry Christmas Jokes and Christmas Funny Messages, Wishes and Quotes. Keep visiting us and get all the latest Funny Merry Christmas Messages Wishes and Photos. We are always keen to provide the best stuff including Merry Christmas Jokes in English and humorous Merry Christmas Messages. See some of the Merry Christmas Jokes below and let us know if you liked them.

Merry Christmas Funny Jokes

Question: “How to cats greet each other at Christmas?”

Answer: “A furry merry Christmas & Happy new year!”

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Question: What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?

Answer:  A Christmas Quicker.

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Question: What nationality is Santa Claus?

Answer: North Polish.

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Question: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?

Answer: They go into town, and blow a few bucks.

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Question: What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

Answer: The Christmas one has no L.

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Christmas shopping is awesome,

Only when it is for you!

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With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel,

Wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer.

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“I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.

While I’m dreaming, I wish you weren’t so damn ugly.”

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Christmas is one day when girls get to kiss boys to wish them without being called a slut.

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On the following evening the young man knocked his colleague’s door and found him pacing up and down the hallway in an impatient manner.

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Knock knock

**Who’s there?

-Mary!

*Mary who?

-Merry Christmas!! :D

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Why the Christmas tree can’t stand up?

Answer: It doesn’t have legs.

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Santa: “So little girl, what would you like for Christmas?”Girl: “I want a Barbie Doll and a G.I. Joe.”

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Question: How do snowmen greet each other?

Answer: Ice to meet you!

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The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.

He flicked it on.

“It represents a candle,” he said. “You may pass through the pearly gates,”

Saint Peter said.

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What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum – you can’t beat it!

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What’s the difference between a biscuit and a reindeer?

You can’t dunk a reindeer in your tea.

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Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online.

But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I’m doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience.

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“The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk.

This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.”

This was our updated collection of Merry Christmas Funny Jokes and Merry Christmas Funny Messages, Wishes for Whatsapp and Facebook. For More Funny Christmas Messages and Jokes, please see other articles on this blog.